Love

Trust once betrayed, in one form, shatters the entire foundation.

I cant help the thoughts "what if"...the worst...

I don't know if you meant it when you said you loved me and fell out of love with me, or if you never meant it and I was a trophy to add to your collection.

I'm inclined to believe it was never love, because of past lessons I learned, that love doesn't change. There isn't an "exit" sign when your in love.

Although they say to fake it till you make it, sometimes I wonder if that's right. So much on my mind...

Acting like I never loved you...that I still don't carry that same love for you, is a disgrace to you, because I would be lying - to everyone, myself included. I don't regret it, I just cant forget it.

Its time to let it all go, not easy, I fought it, but at one point I am going to have to deal with it, why not now so I can get to moving. I'm not saying to sit and cry, cause I know that will never change anything.

I know it wont change the fact that you broke promises, it wont change the fact that I still want to talk to you everyday, and share the rest of my life with you, it wont change that it hurts me that your not here to hold me when I need you most and just want to be with you. It wont change that I fell so deep in love with you.

But there are steps in moving on, and I missed a couple. Its fine, I stepped ahead to far ahead, missed a step and tripped, its alright. I have to get up and move on, there is no other choice.

I love you and I miss you, but it wouldn't be right to keep doing it. I wish we never did it and loved it, I don't know if we can be friends...and that is what I want most from you, since its all I can get...but we cant take it back - I was the super girlfriend, but I am human...and I don't know if I can do it, now everything is different, losing my lover and my friend.

Saying hello to goodbye. I think...